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The Makings Of The Unhappy Relationship: What To Watch For In Your Love Interest
With all the problems life has to offer, none of us needs additional unhappiness. It's guaranteed that trouble will find you, before you go looking for it. Most people are searching for some degree of personal happiness. You figure that if you conduct your life in an ethical manner and don't harm your fellow man, you have a formula for happiness.
When you consider entering into a relationship with another individual, you've got to know the signals of a future, unhappy relationship. You may hit the jackpot, that dream relationship everyone hopes to find. A supportive, sensitive partner who understands where you're coming from, a good listener who lightens your moments of fear and despair, while joining you in a good and much needed laugh. That person who stands by you, no matter what. This relationship is characterized by a reciprocal caring and a positive outlook. This is a lucky situation indeed, a good start down the road to a long and happy relationship.
On the other hand, you may enter into a relationship wearing the proverbial rose colored glasses. Desperate for another human being who will simply understand you and stand by you in times of trouble, you may attribute worthy characteristics to an unworthy person. If you're lonely, it's easy to fall prey to a relationship that's bound for trouble, sooner or later. This is a recipe for an unhappy relationship. If you're emotionally needy, you'll put up with just about anything that individual wants to throw your way, for the sake of a false sense of emotional security. There's definitely something wrong with this picture. Unhappy relationships are often the product of emotional desperation and a negative approach to life.
So how do you differentiate? How do you determine who's the good or bad guy or gal? Unhappy relationships tend to evolve over time. That sweetheart of yesterday may turn into tomorrow's nightmare. So, what are the telltale signs?
More often than not, unhappy relationships begin with unhappy people. Usually, one of the parties is an optimist, hoping to 'fix' the partner with a negative outlook. While this negative person may be possessed of many positive attributes (intelligence, good looks, shared interests), a negative attitude will eventually permeate the entire relationship. Notice how your (hopefully) true love responds to adversity. There are so many every day examples, you should have no trouble spotting a negatively oriented personality. Simple observation, without the rose colored glasses, allows you to get to the bottom line rather quickly.
You shouldn't base your conclusion on occasional 'bad hair' days. Everyone becomes annoyed or discouraged every now and then. If your relationship interest has just been chewed out by the boss, then goes to the soda machine to regroup and has the machine eat the coins, that person is going to be unhappy for a few minutes anyway. On the other hand, when every adversity is met with negativity, whining and other self-pitying techniques, this is when you should seriously reevaluate the relationship.
If this person is perfect for you in every other way, try reforming the behavior before you just move on to happier pastures. This should be frank talk, pointing out how negativity seems to color the relationship. You can try to manage example situations as they crop up. Counter the negative with a positive alternative.
If your efforts result in anger, without any real communication happening, your best option is to realize that some people actually enjoy being unhappy. You don't deserve to suffer an unhappy relationship, particularly when there are plenty of people with a positive focus. Life is too short to waste years being unhappy!
Summary
Things to look for in relationships that can forecast unhappiness later on include taking a look at yourself and what attracts you. Do you feel the need to help the other person or "fix" them? Is the other person negative most of the time and needy in any way? These are telltell signs you should pay attention to.
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