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Truthfully I have known for years if I ever had the opportunity to write something, what my topic would be. I am sure we are all familiar with the topic of abuse. There are many types of abuse and quite often we hear the devastating effects it has. Rarely do we hear the good, the success stories.Today I want to tell you my story with the hopes that by sharing it may help one person not have to live through the pain I did. For 18 years, 9 months and 8 days I lived in an extremely verbally abusive relationship.I am sure we
have all heard "sticks and stones may break my bones...., and as a child I believed this. But let me tell you words damage your soul and in ways can hurt you and leave marks much greater than a bruise or a black eye ever could. I know this all to well. Looking back on the years now, what appeared then as difficulties and as a way of life that I never saw an end to; I have now learned to take those years and treat them as a blessing and a lesson. I have learned to spend from this day forward learning from this day. I've always tried to live by a quote I once heard from Henry Ford, "Smile despite the circumstances and laugh through the pain. Life is full of hardships but it is how you deal with them that will in the end define your character".
The greatest contributor to any kind of abuse is the silence. The embarrassment of what is happening and the lonliness that the abused feels, more often than not keeps them there and stops them from seeking help. Today I look back and ask myself "how could you have lived in that situation for so long?" But unless you are in an abusive relationship it is so hard to explain.
I spent the first couple of years fighting the abuse. No way was I going to let him treat me that way. I then got to the point where I justified the abuse, even made excuses for it. By then we had 2 children and I saw my role as a protector of them so he wouldn't turn on them. Then our third child was born and the role of protector was getting harder to do. That's when I hit my lowest, and I gave up. I became every name he ever called me and honestly in the last 5 years we were together I never thought I would make it out.There were many days I wish he would have hit me, left a mark. It was getting too hard to cover the abuse. It was also getting too hard explaining why I was feeling like I was. He was always nice around others so they didn't see the abuse(and I got better at covering it up). Then one day I had enough. I couldn't protect the kids anymore, and because he wasn't being effective by abusing me, cause I had given up). One of the main reason an abuser abuses is for the control the reaction, well he wasn't getting that from me so he turned on the kids. I knew then I had to get out.So on Easter Sunday 2002, my 3 kids and I left.I had never been more terrified in my whole life.
I had no job, no money and 3 kids to support. But with the help of my family and friends I made it. It was the hardest choice I have ever had to make, but one I have never regretted for one second.
I have now taken control of my life! I have learned to face each day with the knowledge that I will still face tough decisions, and from time to time I will make a mistake. The difference now is I can do it with the self love and respect that for so many years seemed so far out of reach.
By writing this I hope to accomplish two things. 1) support my healing and gain more confidence in myself, the 2nd was to hopefully make a difference to even one person.
 Author Bio - Thank you for taking the time to read my article. I do hope it in some way assists one person to not have to live through what I did. I am happily surviving and raising my 3 happy healthy children. Visit my link to see how I earn extra money.My Shopping Mall Check into my My Freebie Business
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